Frank Dux does everything that Chuck Norris does, but he does it with a beer in his hand.
Chuck Norris is the salt of the earth. Frank Dux uses that salt to flavor his eggs.
Chuck Norris is a real straight shooter. Frank Dux doesn't need to shoot, his kick was clocked at 72 mph for Christ's sakes.
The Texas highway patrol sets their speed limits based off of the velocity of Chuck Norris roundhouse kick (55mph). The Autobahn has no speed limit, based off of the velocity of Frank Dux's kick. One has been clocked at 72 mph for Christ's sakes!
Chuck Norris thinks the definition of FAST is "to move quickly". Frank Dux knows that FASST stands for "Focus, Action, Skills, Strategy, and Tactics". Suck it, Chuck!
SUCK IT, CHUCK!!!
Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people. Frank Dux kills people and elephants.
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds: walk and kill. Frank Dux has 3 speeds: walk, kill, and kill elephants.
If Jesus had a brother, he would be Chuck Norris. Jesus did have a father, and His name is Frank Dux.
Chuck Norris grew up on the wrong side of the tracks...because Frank Dux wouldn't let him cross back over.
It only takes Chuck Norris 3.2 seconds to tie his shoelaces. It only takes 3.2 seconds for Frank Dux to knock someone's ass out.
Chuck Norris can part the sea. Frank Dux can drain it.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Frank Dux Facts: 2nd Edition
- "Kumite" in the English language translates into "sparring." "Sparring" in the Dux language translates into "winning." Suck it Norris!
- The "W" in Frank W. Dux stands for "Winning." When you turn the "W" upside down it becomes an "M," which stands for "Making Chuck Norris look like a goddamn fool."
- Frank Dux beats up people like Chuck Norris on the way to fights.
Some of Tom's work below...
- Chuck Norris has to wash the make-up off of his face after an on-camera KO. Frank Dux wipes the blood off his face after 56 consecutive Kumite KOs.
- Chuck Norris eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast. Frank Dux shits pieces of shit like you after eating Chuck Norris for breakfast.
- When the world gives Chuck Norris lemons, he makes lemonade. When Frank Dux gets lemons he makes 150-proof moonshine, douses Chuck Norris with it, and sets him on fire with a blazing fast jump kick.
- When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, Frank Dux kicks his ass.
- The "W" in Frank W. Dux stands for "Winning." When you turn the "W" upside down it becomes an "M," which stands for "Making Chuck Norris look like a goddamn fool."
- Frank Dux beats up people like Chuck Norris on the way to fights.
Some of Tom's work below...
- Chuck Norris has to wash the make-up off of his face after an on-camera KO. Frank Dux wipes the blood off his face after 56 consecutive Kumite KOs.
- Chuck Norris eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast. Frank Dux shits pieces of shit like you after eating Chuck Norris for breakfast.
- When the world gives Chuck Norris lemons, he makes lemonade. When Frank Dux gets lemons he makes 150-proof moonshine, douses Chuck Norris with it, and sets him on fire with a blazing fast jump kick.
- When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, Frank Dux kicks his ass.
What material is ShamWow! made out of?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Frank Dux Facts: 1st Edition
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad the only person to make Chuck Norris cry is Frank Dux.
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Frank Dux.
- There is no ctrl button on Frank Dux's computer. Frank Dux broke his computer over Chuck Norris' face. Oh yea!! Sucker!
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Potatoe Chip. Frank Dux doesn't eat potatoe chips...he eats bags of potatoes.
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits...........for Frank Dux.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice. Frank Dux thinks math is for losers! Oh yea!! Sucker!!
- When you google "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked," you will generate an image of Frank Dux. Go ahead, click on the link...sucker.
- Chuck Norris can stare into a Solar Eclipse. The only thing Chuck Norris can't stare into is Frank Dux's eyes.
- Frank Dux wears Chuck Norris as a condom.
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Frank Dux.
- There is no ctrl button on Frank Dux's computer. Frank Dux broke his computer over Chuck Norris' face. Oh yea!! Sucker!
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Potatoe Chip. Frank Dux doesn't eat potatoe chips...he eats bags of potatoes.
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits...........for Frank Dux.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice. Frank Dux thinks math is for losers! Oh yea!! Sucker!!
- When you google "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked," you will generate an image of Frank Dux. Go ahead, click on the link...sucker.
- Chuck Norris can stare into a Solar Eclipse. The only thing Chuck Norris can't stare into is Frank Dux's eyes.
- Frank Dux wears Chuck Norris as a condom.
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